I started my day ready to have a good day washing dishes and mostly taking it easy in the kitchen. Apparently, though, a bunch of people have been very frustrated lately (myself NOT included in a rather a-typical fashion) and evidently this frustration led the chef instructor to have the dean of our program come visit with us during our lecture hour yesterday morning. Christ almighty.
So the first thing chef does is write an agenda on the board. It goes like this:
- Discuss 3rd Quarter
- What's working?
- What's not working?
- Hear from Dean Chauncey
- Changes
- Menu Review
- Project Assignments
I swear to anything and everything holy that the worst thing you can EVER do is tell me to shut up. Sheer idiocy is putting me in a situation where you will make me want to say things, and then tell me I should not say them. This was ALMOST like that. Not quite, but basically chef had walked in and said "I am the great Carnac." And since he can see the future, he has not only seen it, but thought about it, decided upon it, and will be informing us of his decisions... after we have had a chance to "share our input," and presumably, have proved his predictions correct.
As far as I was concerned, there was no discussion here. This could have been done via email, with or without parts one and two, as long as we got what mattered, which was part 3, which chef said he'd decided on without actually getting our input as a class. So, I ignored this dog and pony show as long as I could. I folded my arms, shut off, and gazed longingly at the cheese poster which hangs proudly next to my desk in the classroom. I did this for about fifteen minutes.
I could not, however, avoid overhearing what was going on. And what was happening was not exactly unusual in the "professional" world, but demonstrated a lack of leadership and in its place, a pleasantly dressed bully with a big, warm smile, and anecdotes about the wine country.
You think I'm joking. But I couldn't make this shit up if I tried, and I certainly wouldn't want to, nor have to.
"Well FIRST," exubed Dean Chauncey, "let's hear about what's WORKING! I wanna start THERE!!" Yes. Naturally. I'm sure she does. I watched the clock while fifteen minutes went by. Since only 20 minutes had been allotted to the first agenda item, something seemed skunky. For the first fifteen minutes, the "leadership" insisted we focus on the good things. Basically demanding that we stroke and encourage them about what a great job they've been doing, even though they had to interrupt a lecture hour with this little chat. Am I the only one who spots that they already are ignoring us? What's working? What fucking difference does that make? It was a totally intentional waste of time, in my opinion. Not only that, but whenever a student did say something positive, the dean chimed in with a little story about wine making. For reals.
Finally, someone offered an unsolicited criticism, which was not a welcome shift in the conversation. At each comment made by a student, the winery stories now took a preachy turn, advising us of the importance of repetition, and how mastery only comes through repetition. Additionally, out of the other side of her mouth, the Dean explained that the program is really focused on providing lots of exposure to lots of different kitcheny activities, and that's why we don't get enough time doing things we feel advances our culinary skills. One by one each student's thoughts were explained as faulty, and shot down. I listened for what seemed like an eternity, getting more and more frustrated. What an insult this was turning out to be. I was visibly biting my tongue, and the dean made the mistake of asking me directly if I had anything to share. I just shook my head and bit my lips shut. When the next person spoke up and the shooting down began, I had to get up and walk out.
While I was in the hall, another staff member saw me and asked how I was. I blurted out "I'm pissed. How are you?" He sorta took a double take and started asking questions and I explained why I was angry. He said "It sorta sounds like one of my staff meetings."
When I went back to the class, I thought "You know, if they want input, I've got a little for them." I waited until they had closed the conversation and then raised my hand and said "Dean? I just wanted to share one more thing here at the end, in class, so that everyone knows I have shared it. I found this dog and pony show to be incredibly insulting."
Dean Chauncey looked like I'd shot her best friend. Chef got angry and blurted out at me "Well I'm offended. We wanted to do this so we could get your input." (Aside: I find that most people who get offended LIKE being offended because it provides them the opportunity to feel [morally] superior to others. Pretty weak.) I shot back, my anger no longer in check at all, "Well Chef, when you walk in here and tell everyone you've already decided what changes you're going to make, but then solicit input, THAT isn't a conversation. It is a DOG, and PONY show." I was shaking, I was spitting, I was livid.
"Well, we're all out of time for this discussion. We're going to have to move on." I said "Well I waited until the end because I didn't WANT to discuss it. I just wanted to share my input." He was really thrown off balance. Somehow, methinks Carnac didn't see THAT input coming.
Anyway... yeah. Typical.
In my fantasy, it would be so great to walk up to Chef today and say, very humbly, "You know chef, I just wanted to apologize for my dog and pony comment yesterday. That was inappropriate and I should not have characterized what you were doing in that way. I was wrong. I'm sorry." I would wait for his acceptance of this apology and follow up with "What I should have called it was the Carnac sketch, on Johnny Carson. THAT would have been more appropriate. Again, I'm sorry for my mis-characterization of your approach to this issue yesterday." But it's only great in my fantasy. He's let it drop, and I'll have to let it drop to, so that's why I'm leaving it here.
Peace!
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