Sunday, October 3, 2010

COD Menu Draft

In 4-5 months I'll be doing my COD and I've finished my first draft of the menu. Critical commentary is welcomed.


Global Flavors // Local Foods
Prix Fixe = $22.00



1st Course - American


“Green Goddess” Crostinis
Dark rye crostinis, anchovy paste, fried quail egg, parsley-chive oil, tarragon

2nd Course - Indian
Curried Cashew, Pear, and Cilantro Salad
Winter greens, curried cashews, asian pears, cilantro-ginger vinaigrette

3rd Course – French
Orange-Roasted Duck with Caramelized Apples
Nutmeg-Potato-Parsnip Puree, Braised Fennel, and Cippolinis in Agrodolce

4th Course - “Italian”

Chocolate Mascarpone “Raviolis”
Chocolate pasta raviolis filled with mascarpone-pear puree and apricot gelee
topped with white chocolate ganache and cacao nibs

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Goats

Are so cute.  Goats also smell strongly of goat, and make anything that touches them smell, surprise, like goat.  *Several* applications of hot, soapy water and vigorous agitation of the skin is highly recommended unless you especially enjoy the smell of chevre.

But be sure to pet the goats, because they're just so sweeeeeeet!

Wow

WHAT an amazing weekend.  In spite of stupid boy on Friday night, I had the best 4th of July ever. 

Mostly... it was the sex.  Lots and lots and lots of raw, dirty sexy with other fun participants.  Carlos and I really do enjoy the occasional bite of extra-marital flesh.  Mmm.  :)

Anyway, I'm off to the farm today.  I am so badly burned from Saturday I'm going to have to take extra care today though, to be sure I don't injure myself.

Whee!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Well, in spite of some disorganization and what not, the Zombie Walk was more fun than I've had in a very long time.  It was also SO good to get out of the house and ever so quickly get over the mean boy.  I love quick turnarounds. 

Ooh, and Minimus Maximus was there; some guys I knew from skoo were there cookin.  I hadn't eaten from the steel pig yet, and the minimus with cheese and hurt was *awesome.*  My god.  My GOD.  Watering mouth; want more NAO.

I drank beer, too, which is very rare for me.  3 beers down and I was pretty numb-lipped for the better part of the day.  Negro Modelo is now my beer of choice from the store bought brands.  Leave it to my favorite brand of human being, the Mexicans, to make the best beer.

And I got the first sunburn I've had in ten years.  I forgot they hurt!

Saturday, July 3, 2010

And in honor of the fact that I am not totally devastated by anything that happens in my life, especially not some god damn BOY, I about to go cut up some jeans. 

The Zombie Walk prevails.

8-0

The Mad Ferret sings all your favorite classics

Today's selection is from a formerly popular total fucking genius artist named Ben Folds.


Song for the Dumped
-Ben Folds Five, Ben Folds


So you wanted to take a break
Slow it down some and have some space

Well fuck you too!

Give me my money back
Give me my money back, you bitch
I want my money back

Wish I hadn't bought you dinner
Right before you dumped me on your front porch


Give me my money back
Give me my money back, you bitch
I want my money back
... and don't forget my black T-shirt
That hurt.  (But what would life be without risk?)

It is just becoming more and more clear as I get older that I'm going to be alone whether I like it or not.  People just don't like me /enough/ to make being close to me worth the effort.

And that's final. (Alright, maybe not totally final.  But there are some pretty unfortunate ways in which I'm going to be very limited in my ability to get close to people thanks to the acrid nature of my personality.  But I'm just not able to turn off the parts of me that are so offensive to other people.  And as I've said before, trying has gotten me straight up shite.  And if I COULD turn them off, at this point, I think I would, as I say below.  Sucky, but true.)

I'm also becoming aware of just how much I crave physical contact with someone other than C.  No one ever touches me, and I certainly avoid touching other people as much as possible.  People run away from me, rather than sit next to me.

I feel like a monster.  (rawr, mummyfuckers)

I'm crying over a boy again.  I think that's stupid.  (totally stupid)

If I could cut out, shut down, or turn off the parts of me that I feel are the most valuable and worthy parts of me as a human being, I would.  I just *hate* being me.  I hate my experiences.  I hate the way people treat me - even when they want to do something different - because I am so de trop.  With an apologetic smile across their lips, they cut my heart out and tell me "have a nice life."  (or "best of luck."  Best of luck?  What the fuck is this, Vegas?)

I *am* this unlovable.  I *am* this unwantable.  I *am* this ugly and worthless.  (But only on the outside.)

I'm going to go cry some more now.  (Thank god that's over with.)

(The Mad Ferret sings along: "But you just smile like a bank teller blankly telling me 'have a nice life...'")

Friday, July 2, 2010

The Mad Ferret sings all your favorite classics

"I want the touch of your charms... the heat of your breath... I want to say all those things that would be better left unsaid... BUT YOU'RE TOO PHYSICAL..."


Sometimes, only H-loving Trent can say it just right.


EDIT:  I wish I had not been so fucking stupid.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

It occurred to me yesterday that for the most part I only write here when I'm in a dark and foul mood, but that isn't what I am all the time, either.  (Hence, large gaps in the blog.)  It's not necessarily what I am even most of the time, though pretty much at any time I could be in a dark and foul mood.  In the full 360 degrees of my life I am being very sincerely focused on being less unhappy.  For a lot of legitimate reasons.  But I guess this demonstrates that I tend to write expressively only out of a sense of torment and anguish (wow, how unique and unusual is that, ha ha) and not out of any of the other myriad emotions I experience.  Particularly enjoyment, which happens more often than I'd ever write about.

What is there to say about being in a good mood?  Everybody is in a good mood.  There's nothing newsworthy about being chipper, but there's plenty to say about the causes of torment.

I think the whole "get over it" mentality is borne out of whatever ugly moment brought that person to the point of giving up and giving in.  It's their encouragement that, like them, you too should get over it, shut off your emotions, and buy into whatever dirty juice they are suckling from The Great Teat.

Summer quarter looks to be pretty awesome.  It's going to keep me very busy though.

Monday, June 21, 2010

So it was maybe 3 or 4 weeks ago I started saying out loud that I needed some movement of energy in the apartment.  Things felt... too cramped, too clogged, too cluttered, too messy.  I just needed things in the apartment to move a bit instead of just accumulating, and asked Carlos for help with it.  Yesterday he cleaned out my refrigerator thoroughly, by request.  It is FANTASTIC.  His efforts got me moving yesterday a bit and I got up and moved all my houseplants out onto the deck.  This is great, just fine really, unless and until I decide I want to grill something, at which point I'll have to work something else out.  Basically, I've created the need for a sizeable outdoor table or shelf upon which I can place about twenty potted house plants.

Meanwhile, I've decided that the bookshelf atop which they were previously located needs to move.  This means I need to move two other bookshelves, and a tool chest.  This means I need to completely clean off all the aforementioned shelves and reorganize them, as well as figure out where in the hell I'm going to put some stuff.  I don't like the idea, but I probably could really use a piece or two LESS furniture.  I would probably be best off selling some of the stuff, but then what am I going to do next time I need another bookshelf, i.e., later this year when we move into our house? Spend more money on another bookshelf?  I'd really rather not.  The one bookshelf I'd possibly consider selling I've owned for ten years, so although the wood could be replaced, the memories could not.

Memories of a bookshelf?  Yeah, kinda.  It's one of the very few things I still have that my mother ever bought for me.  And since we are completely estranged with no hope in sight for reconciliation, well... why not hold onto something that shows she has not always felt this way about me.

Her birthday is July 6th.  She'll be 60 this year. 

::sigh::

Anyway, lots to do if I really want to make these changes today.

Peace.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

http://www.ifitwasmyhome.com/#loc=Seattle%2C%20WA%2C%20USA&lat=47.6062095&lng=-122.3320708&x=-122.3320708&y=47.6062095&z=7

And just think... we're on day 52... and they're saying 120 days to fix it, or so.

Should be no problem at all.  Especially when they're trying to fix it during hurricane season. 

Is it the beginning of our self-made apocalypse? (You know, like a real one, not a fairy tale one.)  Is THIS going to be the thing that gets us off oil?  Will we have any choice?  Will we survive?  Can we survive today without oil - fertilizers, pesticides, medicines, plastic(!), and pretty much everything that makes the world "go" round - is dependent upon oil.  Can we live without the lower part of the food chain known as seafood?  How big? 

Very, very rich people (a comparatively small number of people, but an objectively very large group in the millions) control the vast, vast majority of wealth and resources available on our planet.  But they do so because each of us gave them a little bit of the wealth we were given, over and over again.  In other words, they got rich via the industrial-capitalist system which brought us the products we so deeply believed we wanted and needed. 
A system most of us would defend, with blood if we believed it was necessary, while waving red white and blue star spangled banners.  And before you think you wouldn't kill to defend your beliefs, try following your tax dollars.  See what you (and your children, and children's children) are actually (going to be) paying for (for generations to come, if we aren't bankrupt). 



WAR. 


And war, of course, as we all have known deep down inside, is about oil. 

Love it or not, this is your world.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Sometimes, it's the song that takes you somewhere, instead of you taking the song somewhere.

Sometimes, you just have to start playing, letting the notes come to you as they do in the moment you play them.  Sometimes you have to let the harmony flow into and through you as freely as the air passes through leaves. 

Sometimes you have to just take a chance on yourself.

This will never stop happening.

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2010/06/caught_in_the_oil.html

The Obama Administration approved the deep-sea well that has so tragically injured our Louisiana coastline.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Indeed

http://www.skyscript.co.uk/scorpio.html

Particularly insightful quotes:  

"No sign ever falls on the negative end of a moral trait; it is only bound to representing an archetypal theme and bringing both extremes of that theme into focus. With Scorpio the inference of deceit picks out the theme of falsity and truth; and as we might expect, those with the acuity to be masters of deceit are also the best equipped to recognise it when they see it.  In their gift of realising deception, rejecting hollowness and seeing through shallow facades, Scorpios are not afraid to expose realty for what it is; they are the emissaries of a more complete sense of truth than many of us are prepared to contemplate, the penetrating aspects of it often being too painfully sharp for comfort. The paradox of Scorpio is that when it is fooling you, it is not really acknowledging you at all. Real communication with this sign means engaging with honesty, no matter how candid, sordid or direct. Cheat you it may - that means nothing; when something really does matter Scorpio won't be fooled and it won't mess around with either pleasantries or mind games.

"Traditionally governed by Mars, Scorpios are genuinely capable of seeming destructive and intimidating, (towards noble ends as well as self-centred interests), because where Mars dominates there is little interest in compromise; the impulse is for active attack or strategic defence, whatever it takes to avoid yielding one inch more than necessary. But the direct, active principle of Mars is sublimated in its nocturnal expression, and like all water signs Scorpios seldom instigate attacks, preferring to hold their power in reserve. This undercurrent of unexpressed energy is the basis of an almost tangible magnetism, a sense of power embedded in the aura that reveals itself expressly when their acute defensive instinct is stirred. It's worth remembering that, as much as it may seem a contradiction, Scorpios strongest line of attack is always in defence, where their fixidity brings enduring patience and determination, and their natural resilience makes them seem practically impassable."

"When Scorpios do engage in conflict their method of operation is perfectly reflected by the terrestrial creature that defines their celestial motif - all scorpions are venomous and all are predators, but they never actively hunt or chase down their prey; instead they patiently sit and wait, months if necessary, proceeding to ambush only when their quarry is close enough to stand little chance of escape. In business and battle Scorpios make inestimable adversaries..."

"Both [Scorpio and Virgo] are feminine signs, so neither is comfortable with an easy, expressive discharge of internal energy; and since Scorpio is of the phlegmatic temperament it is even more driven towards internalisation.  In order to penetrate it must first draw towards it: Scorpio doesn't walk into your territory, it doesn't flirt and cajole, it merely let's its own energy attract, and when penetrating your secrets it does so having lured you to a place where resistance is low."


"Any attempt to skirt around issues, whatever form they take, smacks of insincerity and avoidance, and Scorpios have seen too much, and worked too hard to deal honestly with the darker sides of reality, to engage in a world of pretence. Even in their sarcastic sense of humour Scorpios have a way of reminding us that we may laugh at life, but we should never be too flippant about it."



Thursday, May 27, 2010

And we'll go dreami-i-i-i-i-i-ing...

So I had this great dream last night.  It felt so good.  I only remember one moment, but I had fostered a child, a little boy and he was maybe 2, but probably as big as a 3 year old.  He was lying in a crib.  I climbed in, and held his warm body against my bare chest and squeezed tight enough that if I had done so in waking life, I'd probably have killed him.  I laid on my back and he laid his belly flat on mine, and I just hugged and loved him tighter and tighter.  It almost felt like I was taking him right into my heart.  

That felt really, really good.  I woke up and felt incredibly warm and loved and good. Amazing what a little bit of acknowledgment can do for a person.

My sincere thanks to Al S. for his assistance and inspiration of this dream.  It is to touch the face of God itself to receive an acknowledgment from the Anima Mundi.  It's been a while. 
God DAMN it.  I hate getting up at 5.30 in the morning.  I *really* want this to come to an end. When I am done with school, I intend to work for myself, and my hours will NOT start before 10am.  Even that's a little early.  

Plus, I hate that I have so much physical pain all the time.  Like, all the time.  Today, I have upset stomach, kidney pain, back pain and leg pain.  Fucking EVERYTHING HURTS!  I could live without that just fine. 

Someone suggested to me yesterday that it might have something to do with the negative psychic energy I have bound up inside.  Yeah, probably very true.  But these sorts of insights always lead to the same conundrum.  How do you let go of a maladaptive way of being without having replaced that behavior with something else that meets the need that the maladaptive behavior has previously met?  We hold onto these sorts of things because they do something important for us.  Not because we're lazy or because we think there's no better way to be.  But some of us are just "that" fucked up.

Anyway.  I feel spent.  Just so tired - and I just got out of bed.  Blah. 

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Twisting, turning, through the nether...

Steve Sickenberger is an asshole.  Like, way, way more than me.  He's a genuinely nasty, ugly, mean individual who actively seeks to injure me professionally, personally, and emotionally.  

He sucks.  

Also on this list, I think, are mmm, Michele Nguyen, Scott Stokes, Kevin Bierworth, and probably one or two others, but I'm not sure, so why say so?  Anyway... what really is most hurtful about the behavior these assholes deliver in my direction is that I've never done anything to any of them.  In fact, I avoid all of them as much as I possibly can.  Oh, yes, I've said something with a sharp tongue to them each at least once.  But that's sort of like yesterday's news in the kitchen, right?  Having a sharp tongue is just something that others (or at least I) should grow a thicker skin around.  Each of these individuals has said MANY things to me that are so far beyond anything I've ever said to any of them I just don't understand.  

They're haters, and I try really hard not to be.  What's so great about beating up on me?

And while I *really* hate this whining shit, I don't DARE access the part of me that makes me feel like I have POWER over these people.  Because that IS the ugly part of me, and that IS NOT the part of me I choose to be, whenever I still have control over that choice.  

I just don't get what people want from me.  Do they want me to blow up at them?  Be ugly toward them?  Do they want me to fail?  Do they want to just be terrible people?  Do they think this is good, or right?  Is it moral behavior?  Ethical?  Is it appropriate or professional?  Is there any justification for it whatsoever?  If not, then what the fuck?  


Just plain old what the fuck?


Why are SO MANY people just worthless pieces of shit?

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Don't ask me what I think.

Yesterday was a classical example of how fucked up people are, and why I have such a problem with authority. 

I started my day ready to have a good day washing dishes and mostly taking it easy in the kitchen.  Apparently, though, a bunch of people have been very frustrated lately (myself NOT included in a rather a-typical fashion) and evidently this frustration led the chef instructor to have the dean of our program come visit with us during our lecture hour yesterday morning.  Christ almighty.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Dream, bitches.

When did I stop thinking Apple was a fucking amazing/awesome company like I did when I was programming LOGO in 2nd grade, and start thinking Apple was just ... too greedy for me to be totally comfortable buying an iPod touch?  

I mean, in the end, it's a pretty clever thing to own.  And really really, I need some tunes in my ears in the mornings/afternoons.  I just need Gaga IN MY HEAD so yeah.  That's something I wanna try to accomplish somehow.  We DO have a g1 not in use around the house atm.  Maybe C would let me use it.  Would just have to buy a nice set of wifi headphones for it.  


Anyway, this question had me thinking about like... well, you know like the idea here is that if you make something cool that millions of people want (not TOO difficult in theory given the human population of Terra Madre) you can really make incredible amounts of money selling it.  I read today that sixty thousand android devices are shipping every day.  Every day.  I mean, if you had a cool THING to sell, even if it was 19.95, if you get a million people to be dumb enough to buy your dumpster-destined plastic, you can make enough to retire, if you wish.  Or more likely, you can use that money to make more plastic shit nobody really needs or even wants more than a week after they've owned it, and which will find IT'S way to the dumpster, transferring untold millions of hard-earned dollars into your wallet in the process.  


And then I wonder.  


Is this the best we can do with our collective resources?  Is this the best we can do as human beings?  Is this the best evolution of human consciousness we can acheive in 2010?  HELLO!  We've seen the first DECADE of the 21st century just basically BLOW by with nary a shift in public policy regarding, well, everything that is, thanks to the economies of scale, at this point carcinogenic ways of behaving.  


Look, all I'm saying is we all KNOW we're doing this, but we don't have the leadership we think we need to get ourselves out of this mess, but if we can populate the world like this, and mechanize the building of huge cities and roads and equipment and vehicles and consumer products...... 


then...


well, people, we are all suffering from a sad, pathetic, and horribly tragic lack of imagination.  One day enough of us will wake up that we'll realize we can basically transform our world through the redistribution of material wealth, economic revolution, and a whole new system of resource management.  We'll some day realize that we need to dream more, together, and dream big - way, way bigger than 64 inches of flat panel glory.  


Bigger even than IMAX, or Disney World, or Dubai.  Bigger, people, than Europe, Asia, Americas, Australia, and dwindling arctics.  We need to learn to dream, together. 


Elseways, I think we are lost.  We've already basically transformed ourselves into a society of individuals who believe the only way we can have anything is to kill each other.  Whether literally or figuratively, that is how we deal with our fears about meeting our needs and ensuring our safety and survival.  The real threats to this however, cannot be met in the way we are behaving.  


I do hope we learn something different.  Because I hate being here sometimes, thanks to the way ALL OF US behave.    What can I say?  Human beings are so far, some pretty pathetic creatures in my view.  We can do better, but only if we choose to do so, together.